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Dear Girly Girl, This Means War!

Dear Girly Girl,

It isn’t bad enough you ask me for chickens and then give them back or that you and your friend bartered with me for some beets and gave me a piddly amount of chocolate in return, but this, this takes the cake.

This.Means.War.

-Mavis

__________________________________________

Are you ready for this?

Last night as I was pulling in to the driveway I received a text message from Girly Girl.

Girly Girl - Making 10 more right now. This is addicting! 42 jars of blackberry jam and counting!

Mavis - Did you pick all my freakin’ berries?????

Without even waiting for a reply, I whipped the car out of the driveway, and drove over to her house at 9 pm to see what was going on.

Now it all made sense.

For the past 2 weeks I have been unable to find any blackberries in our neighborhood to pick. At first I thought maybe it was Mrs. Hillbilly, but then I realized she only picks a handful at a time.  She’s not in it for the major berry haul, just a few here and there for her kids to snack on.  So when I received the text from Girly Girl, I knew right away she had been the one stealing my berries for the past 2 weeks.

What a punk!

When I walked into her house I found Chino the Handyman sitting at the kitchen table.

He quickly pointed over to where Girly Girl was as if to rat her out.

She was laughing her little head off.

Basically she is evil.

Girly Girl, you may think this is funny now… but you just wait. You. Just. Wait.

~ Mavis

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17 Comments Post a comment
  1. Tali #

    I agree….it is WAR TIME!

    September 11, 2012
  2. Jennifer Andersen #

    oh man I can’t wait to see how this all plays out!

    September 11, 2012
  3. Tanya #

    Maybe you just need to commandeer some of that finished jam ;)

    September 11, 2012
  4. She’ll never eat all that jam. She probably doesn’t even like blackberries. ;)

    September 11, 2012
  5. Susan #

    So funny!!

    The blackberries this year are plentiful! I was the only one picking behind me in the wetlands. And the picking was easy! :)

    I did 18 pints of jelly (don’t like the seeds!) 1 Blackberry Cobbler and froze a quart bag of them.

    Isn’t FREE wonderful?!?

    Blackberries are one of the more spendy berries in the store. No way would I buy ANY!!

    September 11, 2012
  6. Blogging is basically blabbing, so maybe it (her “stealing” your blackberries) is a natural consequence?

    I think you better watch out. She looks like she has it in her to kick your butt. You might want to be proactive. Like, slash her tires or something.

    Signed,
    A Peace-Loving Mennonite

    September 11, 2012
  7. Heather #

    That’s funny! You too? I have a neighbor, aka Jam Lady, the lovely grandmother type who uses her grandkids to get her loot! See we have a home that in the backyard is not fenced and is on a hill that a stream runs though it. The blackberries are all on the hill and I can only access the ones that I can reach without falling down our embankment. My neighbor, Jam Lady, fenced her backyard in and can’t reach her blackberries now, but when we first moved in I realized cute little voices coming from our backyard and looked out to see her and her grandsons all grabbing berries as fast as they could. I opened the door and laughed and she said that she always picks those berries and makes jam with them…She said she’d compensate me with Jam and left me with 8 jars that first year. Now I pick the berries, as her grandsons are all moved away, and she makes the jam for both of us. Seems like a fair trade…LOL!

    September 11, 2012
    • Elizabeth F #

      Oh, that’s a nice story!

      September 11, 2012
  8. Sara Jane #

    Well when she came to barter. I would send her packing and tell her she needed to come to the table with a few more items. Or maybe……..she just wanted to be a part of your blog

    September 11, 2012
  9. Leanna #

    If you go to Sonoma County you can get some…..

    September 11, 2012
  10. mamalala #

    Maybe “Girly Girl” should be called, CBT (Communal Blackberry Thief). She doesn’t look all that done-up as I expected with the name Girly Girl.

    September 11, 2012
  11. LaToya #

    She has an evil smirk on her face. She looks like Alanis Morissette. And she also looks like she can kick your a**.

    September 11, 2012
  12. patti m #

    tell girly girl to take the rings off her jars (for safety). opening blackberry jellly and syrup in the middle of winter is like opening a summer day! i love it!

    September 11, 2012
  13. deal hipster #

    If you live near the eastside I could take you spots swimming in blackberries. I am always on board for some frugal fun COMPETITION!

    September 11, 2012
  14. lili #

    I think she is getting back at you for giving her all your “bad” chickens.

    September 11, 2012
  15. Come to my neighborhood. I have a cash cow of berries. I have about 6 gallons of them in my freezer and another 2-3 gallons in my neighbor’s freezer. We’ll do jam later this Winter when the weather is cooler.

    September 11, 2012
  16. Stacey #

    I live in the desert, so I am green with envy that you even have blackberries to pick. I would get my hands on something she wants, then get the better end of the deal in blackberry jam!

    September 12, 2012

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