Welcome to New England, where the bugs are so big, you’ll have to garden in a puffy coat just so you don’t go into anaphylactic shock. Yes, yes it’s true, New England with it’s spectacular fall foliage could cast a spell on anyone, and you’re almost sure to have a white Christmas what with all the snowfall we get in these parts.
Spring is a pretty magical time too…
And then there’s summer.
With it’s bugs the size of a quarter, the weeds as tall as cornstalks and the humidity, oh the humidity. Folks, you don’t even need to bother taking a shower in the morning because you can just walk outside, soap yourself up and let mother nature take her course.
And anything with a vine will grow like mad, spreading its little tendrils to any and ALL surfaces.
One day you might even find yourself attempting to weed your garden at 5 am fully clothed and then give up and decide it would be better to just carpet the bare earth in cardboard.
You know, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
News Headline: Fully clothed woman gets bit 37 times in 42 minutes while pulling weeds. Precautions were taken and yet she was still attacked while weeding her pepper plants.
You can forget about the bears, the wild turkeys, the porcupines, and the snakes, it’s the mosquitoes you need to be aware of folks. Let this be a warning to you all. It’s a jungle out there.
And then there was a glimmer of hope.
The skies opened up and it rained. Hallelujah.
Bugs can’t fly in the rain.