Last week I wrote a post about getting enough sleep: Work More, Sleep Less, Die Sooner. Reader, Angela, left a comment on that post that piqued my interest:
How many married couples sleep separately? And if so, how does it impact their marriage?
I assumed the universal norm was for couples to sleep in the same bed/room, but after doing a little research, I was shocked! There was a survey done by the National Sleep Foundation that found almost one in four married couples sleep in separate beds. One in four! Who knew?! They said:
“Many people have a good reason for splitting up after dark. Sometimes one partner’s nighttime behaviors – loud snoring, sleep talking, restless movements and so forth – are too disruptive. In other cases, the ‘fit’ between the couple’s sleeping habits is the problem. Maybe one person is a light sleeper and the other has a penchant for stealing covers… Add in conflicting sleep times, differing work schedules and TV habits or electronics and you can see why some partners give up. Just because a couple chooses to live happily ever after doesn’t mean their nighttime personalities are a perfect match.”
I think, but I can’t speak for everyone, that many couples share a bed because it’s the norm or because they’re afraid their intimacy levels will suffer. But if we shove both of those reasons aside and just take a long hard look at quality sleep, I think many people would agree that they might sleep better without their spouse. Obviously that’s not a blanket statement. I have a friend whose husband travels for work and she always complains how poorly she sleeps when he’s away. They’ve been married for so long that her body just doesn’t fall into a deep sleep unless he’s beside her.
I also have a friend whose husband works nights and she thinks it’s glorious when he’s not sharing their bed. She sleeps like a baby when he’s at work and terribly on his days off because she says he’s an oven. They might really benefit from separate beds. But they are too traditional to ever try.
So now I’m curious about you! Do you sleep in a separate bed from your spouse or significant other? How long have you been together and have your current sleeping arrangements always been the same throughout the entire relationship? Do you sometimes wish you slept in a separate room/bed but will probably go on forever sleeping in the same bed as your spouse? If so, why?
Talk to me,